So we have all heard things about safe words and their role within the BDSM community. But what is the truth?
The truth about safe words is they are a vital role for any novice or a professional person playing any role within the community not only for your own safety but the safety and well-being of the others around you.
A Safeword is going to come into play when things get a little kinkier. Many couples do not think they will need one but once in the heat of passion, it’s very easy to go too far and stop short your journey into the wonderful world of BDSM. We hope over the course of this article we can give you some help and advice into safe words and safe actions. The use of “no” or “ stop” is not used as these can be seen as part of the scene going on and is often a part of the whole roleplay expense. Many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events.
So in mainstream lives and society, we are taught no means no. This is the case and should be respected and all life, sex, and fetish should be safe sane and consensual. This is easily the case for a normal life but once in a BDSM scene or playing at home in the bedroom “no” can become part of the fun to the submissive the feeling of losing all control.
I know that this probably doesn’t sound sexy at all, but it totally can be!
As well as a main safe word some partners also have a range of safe words to indicate levels of comfort to the scene also known as a traffic lights system. This does not stop the play but can just calm it down a little. A good set of graduation safe words is Green, Yellow, and Red just like traffic lights easy for any party to understand. Green is the best one or “please don’t stop” and yellow simply being I need a breath.
If the main safe word or red is used the Dom in the scene must respect this unconditionally. A Submissive will only use this safeword because it’s got too much for them this can be mentally or physically. The activity or entire scene is over. All restraints must be removed immediately and in the fastest way possible. We suggest keeping some tools with you. Suggested tools are paramedics shears wire snips and of course a first aid kit. Remember the submissive’s safety is the number one priority if you have to cut or break the restraints do so you can always get more.
The top or dominant is always the most responsible one in any play session as should always be looking out for their subs Well fair, Taking active and positive steps to check the mental and physical state of their partner. A submissive will not always call for a stop as not wanting to upset or disrespect their master.
BDSM Safety is everyone’s responsibility
If you are in a club or with others and hear the safe word being ignored. Please help the submissive and report to the dungeon/ play space owner. If you don’t feel confident enough to step in look for another dominate to help. Ignoring safewords is considered a deeply immoral practice in the BDSM community. If you find yourself the sub in need do not worry others will always come to your aid. This is why theCommunity-wide safe words are suggested then everyone is on the same page.
Sometimes it is not always possible for the submissive to speak. Maybe there gagged or wearing a hood this is where a safe signal is used. This can be anything as simple as dropping an item held in the hand or perhaps a rhythmical grunt or fingertip. Whatever it is it needs to be clearly discussed by both parties before play takes place.
When picking your safe word think of something short and easy to say. Some kinkster uses a jolting word some word that will make your partner stop dead in the tracks. Totally unsexy stopping the action in its tracks.
The generally accepted safe word in the S&M community is “safeword” and “red”. Using these words in public spaces such as a BDSM dungeon or club everyone in the place will know these. This will help to make it easier to have more trust in your partner.
Whatever fetish or scene you want to play out please remember to stay safe. The BDSM and fetish community is a great place full of helpful people all willing to share their knowledge with you. Anyone in the lifestyle for any length of time will share with you how much fun and enjoyment they have had from it. So don’t cut your journey short follow
the safe words advice and stay safe.
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