Wooden spanking paddles and why we use the materials we do.

Wooden spanking paddles and why we use the materials we do.

BDSM wooden spanking paddle the home page of Gratefulpain

Isn’t wood all the same?

Well yes and know is the short answer. Wood all grows in trees and is harvested in a similar way but all timbers differ. All have there own uses and properties which makes them good for that job or properties that make them exceptional for tasks.  Oak, for instance, it a great structural timber and has been used to create grand country houses for hundreds of years and before that used to make mighty ships such as the Mary Rose. The properties that make oak so good for structural strength make it hard and non-flexible think of it as the steel of the wood world.

So why not use oak for a spanking paddle?

Well, you can and we have made some over the years out of oak. but we don’t use it as a base timber for our paddles on a regular basis because for one cost. Oak is twice the cost as say ash and has none of the benefits for a spanking paddle as Ash does.  other reasons include its weight nearly twice the weight as an Ash spanking paddle. Finish Oak can take on a dirty look when finished not the ideal look for a new sex toy. We could go into the reasons behind every wood we don’t use within the range of Spanking paddle blades but we would be here for years. We would also much rather tell you about why we use the timber we use so you can make a better choice for your chosen spanking paddle.

With the background in furniture making and Joinery. We have a good understanding of wood and what to use it for. Wooden spanking paddles need to be flexible yet firm and have a high strength. The following post should give you more of an insight into what material you would like for your wooden spanking paddle.


How we get the timber for all of our BDSM spanking paddles and other kinky bondage gear.

All of our timber comes from two places and we are inherently proud of this. The first place we get timber from is FFC saw mills two to be exact we chose these from years of dealing timber in our other business. We think it is important that the timber we use to create our spanking paddles be ethical. Trees supply our oxygen for us to breath removing toxins from the air and cleaning it so we can live. The other source is the tree yes there tree.

We work with many local forestry companies to purchase trees that have to be removed due to building or health and safety. this may seem contradictory to the first point but if we don’t use the trees they will only get turned in to chips or firewood. With us buying the tree we can make sure the tree lives on in at least one form. As well as being able to give the tree a second life as a spanking paddle or a set of bondage stocks we also get to chose where the timber is cut this gives us ultimate control on the grain pattern and structural integrity of the wood.

Now the timber is not ready for use we have to take the time and effort to get it ready for use. From a tree, we take around a day to process two trees into planks. this is then stacked with gaps between the planks to allow for air movement. This is then left for around 1-2 years to lose some of the free water and sap contained within the timber it also allows the timber to relax. Once the timber has reached around 25- 15% moister content it then moves on to our kiln to bring the moisture content down to below 8% this is the industry standard for kiln dried timber. The timber is then brought back to the workshop some is used for furniture while other boards are destined for kinky ends.



Ash is strong and durable used in making many items you would not think of such as frames for world warplanes as well as car chassis even to this day. The timber its self is light and great at absorbing shock. Not something you think would be good for a spanking paddle but the properties that make it absorbs shock also work the other way. This allows more of the force to be sent to the submissives bottom.

Being generally cream in color it works well many other timbers to create a contrasting color. Ash is also found to have beutiful figure. The wood from older trees is also darker referred to as olive ash as it resembles olive wood. The timber also is easy to care for. Soft to the touch it can be cleaned with a soft cloth in both its raw state as well as finished.


Ash wooden spanking paddle

Robinia, False acacia

Acacia is very hard and tough, and very strong but not brittle. A similar grain structure to that of Ash it is also flexible with the same shock absorbing properties.  The timber its self is a Yellowish green when first cut or sanded but over time turns a Sandy yellow. Of a similar weight to Ash but feels a little denser. The timber finishes exceptionally well taking a finish well absorbing it deep in tot he fibers. This gives a longer lasting more durable finish. Perfect for heavy spanking.

Certain countries in northern Africa burn the wood as incense and it is believed that the type of acacia that they burn will help prevent fever as well as easing joint pain. Ironic for our use 🙂


The grain in Maple is tight and close giving this paddle a hard surface. This gives the paddle a harder sting with less give than the Ash or Acacia. The timber is light in color and can be sanded to a high polish easily. Being a food safe timber it is extremely. Being a tightly grained timber it weighs more than an open grained timber suck as ash. This is something to take into account when buying a paddle.

Maple being tightly grained offers its self up for more intricate carving and is perfect for laser engraving and CNC work. The wood is a little hard for hand carving.


Birch has many roots in corporal punishment and spanking being used in schools and prisons in Victorian times. The Timber from the birch is light in color and weight softer than the other timber we use. This gives the spank a softer warmer finish. This said it still packs a punch.

This timber makes excellent wooden spanking paddles customizing as it carves extremely well and leaves a fantastic finish. Care must be taken with this timber when swinging near hard objects as it bruises and dints easily.

Birchwood is believed to ward off evil, banish fears and build courage. Associated with beauty and tolerance,


Hazle is an extremely flexible timber making it an exception timber for all manner of impact toys. The timber is easily sourced for smaller spanking canes and whips.  A rare wood in larger sizes. The wooden spanking paddles from this timber is hard and imparts a deep thud to the spank leaving its mark easy.

Hazel has a reputation as a magical tree. A hazel rod is supposed to protect against evil spirits, as well as being used as a wand and for water-divining. In some parts of England, hazelnuts were carried as charms and/or held to ward off rheumatism. In Ireland hazel was known as the ‘Tree of Knowledge’, and in medieval times it was a symbol of fertility. “woodland trust”

Hazle will only come up in our One off section and when its gone it’s gone.


Yew is one of my favorite timbers to work with. The colors of this timber are amazing Predominantly orange and white, There can often be bright vivid purple this is caused when the tree is growing and iron comes in to contact with it. The grain is often wild and irregular which makes it harder to work with but the results make the effort worth it. With the timber being priced in history for longbows its flexibility ay dividends to spanking increasing the force from the swing upon impact.

A dense hard timber it is not a timber I would hand carve. The density of the timber makes the wooden spanking paddles made from it in a world of there own.

Spanking paddle handles

Now the timber for the handles is mainly chosen for its looks as there is no impact upon it. This means we do not have to look at timbers that structurally and up to the task of spanking a submissives bottom. We do try and keep the balance of the paddle so it will not pull your wrist while you are spanking. Saying this we are able to add counterweight to the handles if you need a heaver handles spanking paddle. Simply contact us to find out more.

We will not go into depth in the properties of the wood now as there are hundreds of wood species we could use. Instead, we will list a few of the more popular one along with there weight. This will give you an overall feel for how heavy the Spanking paddle will be.


Ash / Olive Ash





Burr Elm

Burr Oak



Wrap up

Hopefully, you will have a little insight on why we use what woods we use as well as being able to choose the correct wood for you. Use the weights here as a guide as every piece is unique and will vary in weight. Please note the timber in the photos is only there as a guide. Timber is extremely varied and will differ from paddle to paddle. We always select our timber for the best in looks and function.

Spanking paddles this way

BDSM engraved spanking paddles and personalised spanking paddles

Spanking paddles are an extremely big part of BDSM culture and impact play. with so many different shapes, sizes, materials, and colors its hard to know what to chose for you. With shape and size considerations we have written an in-depth look at this subject here. But once you have chosen your Spanking paddle why not make it your own.

Make your Spanking paddle your own

We can now offer personalization and engraved spanking paddles to suit you. We can personalize your paddle in many ways from hand-carved letters, patterns and pyrography they all look and feel different, all can be combined with many options. Bellow is set out a look at the different methods of customizing your paddles and in fact most of our BDSM and bondage toys and accessories. We can even custom make your paddle to your specifications just contact us before you buy and we can take care of everything ahead of time. 

BDSM wooden spanking paddle the home page of Gratefulpain

Hand carved lettering.

So you want to get a paddle that really leaves the right mark to your spanking. personalizing your spanking paddle with letters will enable you to leave a pattern or word in the marks left behind. The marks can be difficult to get right first but with practice, you will get it right 100% of the time. We are able to offer many fonts and will be able to discuss the best size and font for your desired personalization. W can also paint the inside of the letters to make them stand out more. With carved letters, it is only possible to carve on one side of the paddle or risk weakening the paddle and making it not fit for purpose.

The lettering can be produced in both positive and negative. The negative version will leave the word readable on the submissives bottom after the spanking. We can also paint the lettering or design to help create more interest to the design.

Pyrography design.

Pyrography is done using a specialized pen using electricity to heat a wire tipped pen to burn a design on to wood or leather. The finished design will give a textured effect to the surface to the timber. Many methods are used to create the design from dots, cross-hatching to shading using different temperatures this can help give an interesting and visually effective design. Pyrography will never leave a mark like the carved letters will. Due to the nature of the engraving, it lends its self to display items perfect for a frat discipline paddle.

Gratefulpain customised BDSM spanking paddles

Laser/ Router/ CNC

Similar to the pyrograph the laser burns a design into the surface of the spanking paddle. The laser is controlled via a computer with this control, far more precise and detailed pictures can be produced. Not only can the laser engrave on wooden paddles it can also engrave on Lexan paddles.

The router is handheld and gives similar results to hand-carved letters but is extremely fast. We do use this on some designs but to be honest I prefer the look and finish given to the engraved spanking paddle from hand carving. Similar to the laser, CNC engraving is controlled via a pc. The CNC can give extremely fine and detailed work which is perfect for leaving that lasting impression on your submissive. The downside to CNC is that it can be expensive.

Stain and paint.

All of the wooden BDSM items and your engraved spanking paddles can be stain with a rainbow of colors including all the colors you can see below

Being able to stain your bondage gear to match your existing furniture. This is great if you are adding a coffee table spanking bench to your living room, the stain can make it blend in with your existing furniture. Perfect for all of your vanilla guests. All of the engraving options have their place and we will always help you get the look and feel you desire from your engraved spanking paddles.

These are only the current ways in which we can customize your paddle to best fit your needs if you have an idea for a way we can alter your paddle with new ideas and methods please feel free to contact us and we can discuss them.

Customized spanking paddles you now know how.

We hope you have enjoyed reading this blog and please feel free to share. So others can gain the knowledge to make an informed decision on buying a customized spanking paddle

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How to review BDSM products

Let others know what you think, review BDSM products


So you have made the plunge and purchased a paddle or perhaps a Breast clamp and you want to tell the world what you thought of it well you can. Extremely easy and fast read on to find out more about review BDSM products


Why write a Gratefulpain product review?

Writing a product review let others know how real people think about our products. These insights can help people purchase the correct items for thee needs. It’s also a great way to share new and exciting ways of using our fetish items. Also, help others with tips and advice on how to use the items or how to get into items such as the Humbler. The Product reviews are not only useful to the other site users but they are also extremely useful to us. We take all feedback on board and use it to improve our products as well as develop new ones. We also like reviews as it helps us sell more of our Kinky things helping others get their Gatefulpain :).


How to add your review onto the site

A picture is said to speak a thousand words so we have added lots of pictures of how you can go about adding your BDSM review to our site. So to write a product review you have to have actually purchased the product.

Stage one.

Step one is simple go to www.gratefulpain.co.uk and log into your account.picture diagram of how to review BDSM products  


Step two.

After logging in simply scroll down and find your orders via the tab on the left-hand side.

After clicking it will open up all your orders find the one with the product you want to review and click. This will bring up a copy of the invoice simply click on the product name and it will take you to that specific product page in this example the Fetish hand stocks.


Step Three

Scroll down and click the review tab this will bring up the review section as per the below picture. With three simple steps give us a 5-star rating then fill in your review and then finally submit your review.   

So that’s it you have now helped others out within the BDSM community as well as the newcomers to the fantastic world of kink and fetish.


Whats next?

We are always looking for new and exciting ideas and always look towards people within the community to tell us what they want. So do you have an idea? Want to work with us on a product to help you get better enjoyment and pleasure from your BDSM sessions. Contact us with your ideas and who knows you could help us produce the next big pleasurable pain piece.


Here at Grateful Pain we only encourage safe and consensual BDSM and fetish between adults. If you want more information on a BDSM we have many more articles to read including safe words and paddle care.

A broken wooden BDSM spanking paddle

Help I’ve broken my wooden BDSM spanking paddle

Here at Gratefulpain, we know that BDSM can get passionate and from time to time accidents happen to your equipment. So what do you do if your favorite BDSM spanking paddle gets scratched or your hand stocks get dented? Well, we have you covered read on to find out how you can get back up to your fun fetish activities fast.

Don’t Panic!!

Wood is a fantastic material to work with warm to the touch perfect for BDSM spanking paddles

Over time we all drop things or knock them against things this will inevitably be the way with all your BDSM and fetish toys. A large number of dents and scratches can be avoided in the correct storage of your BDSM and fetish items. Making sure they are dry and clean before storing them will greatly increase the finish and keep it looking fresh for longer more info on cleaning can be found here. Scratches and dents coming from storage can be easily avoided by having soft padding or wrapping the item in a soft town. Where wood is hard it is easily bruised just like your own skin.

With over 20 years in the woodworking industry, we have excellent knowledge repairing many things outside of the BDSM and fetish world, all these things have greatly increased our skill levels. Ranging from repairing listed buildings down to fine antique furniture to modern windows and doors also including a staircase that was still in use. All have served to add an introducing us to many new products perfect for use.

We do repairs!

Here at Gratefulpain, we can repair nearly all accidents that can or will happen to any of our products. From scratches requiring refinishing, dents dings and scrapes all easily repaired. Spanking paddles over time may split if you get too rough with them this is more likely to happen to spanking paddles with holes in. A split doesn’t always have to be the end of a paddle. If a split does happen to try and keep the split from tearing anymore as the more wood fibers left intact the better it will all make for a stronger repair. We would really like to guarantee all of our products for life but we simply can’t with wood being a natural material. However, we can guarantee our craftsmanship for the life of while you own the product.

We can make the butterflies in many different shapes and designs to fit in with your life. Not only that the butterflies can be made in different materials to contrast with the paddles background. In essence, it is better to celebrate the rejoining by showing it is there rather than trying to hide it. Adding character and life to the piece. We will do everything we can to repair your beloved BDSM item. On rare occasions, it’s not possible to make them fit for use again. In these rare occasions, we can always reassemble the piece so you may keep it. There is also the option to have a display stand or even a case produced to show off your memories.

So what to do when you need a repair?

The easiest way and fastest way is to use the online contact form on the website. Email us as much information about what’s happened. These should include lots of Photos of the damage. From there we can advise of the best way forward to resolving your issue. If you are happy for us to contact you by phone please add a phone number. We understand you want your privacy and don’t want everyone knowing your business.

Is there a charge?

With small jobs, we can often fit it in with other work. We may then only ask you to pay the shipping both ways. For more involved jobs we will keep costs down to a minimum. We can give you a quote once we have Seen photos of the damage. Looking for your wooden items is easy to learn more read our guide here. Hopefully, this will have made you less nervous about using our paddles and getting some of that #GratefulPain.


Safe words

Safe words

So we have all heard things about safe words and their role within the BDSM community. But what is the truth?


The truth about safe words is they are a vital role for any novice or a professional person playing any role within the community not only for your own safety but the safety and well-being of the others around you.


A Safeword is going to come into play when things get a little kinkier. Many couples do not think they will need one but once in the heat of passion, it’s very easy to go too far and stop short your journey into the wonderful world of BDSM. We hope over the course of this article we can give you some help and advice into safe words and safe actions. The use of “no” or “ stop” is not used as these can be seen as part of the scene going on and is often a part of the whole roleplay expense. Many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events.

So in mainstream lives and society, we are taught no means no. This is the case and should be respected and all life, sex, and fetish should be safe sane and consensual. This is easily the case for a normal life but once in a BDSM scene or playing at home in the bedroom “no” can become part of the fun to the submissive the feeling of losing all control.


I know that this probably doesn’t sound sexy at all, but it totally can be!

As well as a main safe word some partners also have a range of safe words to indicate levels of comfort to the scene also known as a  traffic lights system. This does not stop the play but can just calm it down a little. A good set of graduation safe words is Green, Yellow, and Red just like traffic lights easy for any party to understand. Green is the best one or “please don’t stop” and yellow simply being I need a breath.Safe words traffic light

If the main safe word or red is used the Dom in the scene must respect this unconditionally. A Submissive will only use this safeword because it’s got too much for them this can be mentally or physically.  The activity or entire scene is over. All restraints must be removed immediately and in the fastest way possible. We suggest keeping some tools with you. Suggested tools are paramedics shears wire snips and of course a first aid kit. Remember the submissive’s safety is the number one priority if you have to cut or break the restraints do so you can always get more.


The top or dominant is always the most responsible one in any play session as should always be looking out for their subs Well fair, Taking active and positive steps to check the mental and physical state of their partner. A submissive will not always call for a stop as not wanting to upset or disrespect their master.

BDSM Safety is everyone’s responsibility


If you are in a club or with others and hear the safe word being ignored. Please help the submissive and report to the dungeon/ play space owner. If you don’t feel confident enough to step in look for another dominate to help. Ignoring safewords is considered a deeply immoral practice in the BDSM community. If you find yourself the sub in need do not worry others will always come to your aid. This is why theCommunity-wide safe words are suggested then everyone is on the same page.


Sometimes it is not always possible for the submissive to speak. Maybe there gagged or wearing a hood this is where a safe signal is used. This can be anything as simple as dropping an item held in the hand or perhaps a rhythmical grunt or fingertip. Whatever it is it needs to be clearly discussed by both parties before play takes place.

Gratefulpain hands in handcuffs

When picking your safe word think of something short and easy to say. Some kinkster uses a jolting word some word that will make your partner stop dead in the tracks. Totally unsexy stopping the action in its tracks.


The generally accepted safe word in the S&M community is “safeword” and “red”. Using these words in public spaces such as a BDSM dungeon or club everyone in the place will know these. This will help to make it easier to have more trust in your partner.


Stay safe

Whatever fetish or scene you want to play out please remember to stay safe. The BDSM and fetish community is a great place full of helpful people all willing to share their knowledge with you. Safe words journey Anyone in the lifestyle for any length of time will share with you how much fun and enjoyment they have had from it. So don’t cut your journey short follow
the safe words advice and stay safe.


We have lots of other articles on other parts of BDSM and fetish for you to read and comment on. Some will help you choose the right one of our products to purchase opening up new paths for you. So if you have any comments please leave them below. Please share this with anyone else you feel might benefit from it.

So what is Temperature and wax play?

So what is Temperature and wax play?


Temperature and wax play can be a way of getting your shy partner down the wonderful path of grateful pain that is fetish and BDSM.With care and patience and some thoughtfully applied stimulus, your play partner will feel waves of pleasurable endorphins and experience an all-new sensual high.

The idea of temperature play


The idea of Temperature and wax play is to arouse the skin’s neuroreceptors. Stimulation through heat or cold gives the body a rush of sensations. For some of the best results try mixing some different styles and techniques. This will help prove to your partner BDSM doesn’t have to be brutal but instead is a pleasurable pain.
As we have discussed before safety is your number one priority and you should already have your safeword in place as well as the appropriate first aid equipment

There are many ways of trying temperature play or in fact wax play. Wax play is a fetish all of its own but we have included it here as it is a great add-on to the whole experience. Many find that a blindfold of some description really helps as this heightens your other senses intensifying the effects of the play. To further the intensity you can also restrain your partner with handcuffs, rope or a restraint. This is dependent on the trust level you and your partner.


Household items.

Many household items can be used to experiment with. From the water, ice, chocolate sauce fresh fruit metal spoons, chains and many other things besides. Most people will start out using Water, ice, and other safer items moving on to fire and wax at a later date. Temperature play itself is not really caused as BDSM more of a kink it is still a great gateway to other things.
fulfill all of those burning desires
So below you will find a list of items frequently used for temperature play we have added a scale next to them so you can judge if you are ready to play with this element. 1 is low and 5 is high.

Grateful pain is not responsible for anything you do with this information this is simply our view and is from our own experiences and research.

Water 1 out of 5



So water, h20 or council pop whatever you call it we all have it to hand. Try laying in a bath or on a waterproof sheet and pour water over your partner’s chest and arms then switch to a colder or hotter water.

 Intermittently kissing the area to get the passion flowing. As you get further into the world of temperature play you can try pouring it on the genitals seeing how cold and how hot you can go. Always trying the water on yourself first as you don’t want to scold your play partner. 




Ice 1 out of 5


Running an ice cube over a naked body leaving a train of cold water which you can gently blow on adding more sensations to the skin. Running an ice cube over the nipples or around the genitals wakes up the nerve endings making them super sensitive. Use this in conjunction with a warm object to switch up the sensations. ice-cubes-1224804__340For a random different effect hold the ice cube above the body in your clenched fist this will melt it slowly and release randomly sized droplets of water. This can be a great sensation when restrained in and BDSM restraints.

More fun with ice can come from you can freezing pieces of fruit try watermelon or cucumber. Tese both freeze well due to the high water content. You can then use your mouth to hold the fruit as you explore the most sensitive parts of your partner’s body

Food 1-2 out of 5

Warm milk, cold custard, cold fruit lots of food can be used for temperature play. Often turning into sploshing fun. My personal favourites are to use melted chocolate to pour over the body and then run an ice cube through mixing up the sensations to give a whole new level of feelings and sensations After you also get the task of licking it all up :).

Metal spoons 3 out of 5

With a simple couple of spoons, it is easy to make hot and cold sensations with nothing more than the air and your own body. The spoon itself left in the air will be colder than the human skin. Running this along the body can produce a cold sensation like a knife edge without the fear of being cut. This can be heightened with a bowl of cold or ice water leaving the spoon in the bowl this will dramatically reduce the temperature of the spoon. The metal will also stay cold for a longer amount of time allowing for longer periods of pleasure.

Getting hot

Heating the spoon is easily done by placing the spoon in your palm for several minutes this will bring it up above the skin’s temperature. And is a great alternative to the cold spoon. The air cooled and body heated spoons are perfect for anyone looking to start playing with BDSM temperature play. To move the heat hotter you can place the spoon in a cup of hot water. This will give different sensations whether you use the bowl or the edge of the spoon. We have heard of people using a lighter or flame to heat up the spoon but this is highly unpredictable to judge if it is safe or will permanently mark the skin.

Glass and resin  items 2 out of 5

Glass balls or a simple tumbler can both be cooled in the fridge or freezer and then rolled across the body giving a broader area of sensation perfect for the bum or chest. The Glass items can also be heated in water but never heat a cooled item to fast it may shatter. Before using any glass item you must make sure it is free from chips or breaks. These will cause injury to your play partner. Our resin dildos or but plugs to can be warmed and chilled just like the glass items. If you have some glass marbles these make great items to use simply heat and chill some then using a palm’s worth use them to massage your partner. Relaxing and exciting your partner

Wax play 4 out of 5


Which Candles are safe to use?

Household candles often contain paraffin making them melt at a hotter temperature. If you are using household candles practice on your own leg dripping from a high distance slowly lowering till you reach the point where it’s too hot.  This will be different for your play partner. Stay clear of candles made from beeswax, scented and ones with metal wicks these all burn at an extremely high temperature and can cause serious second-degree burns
Special candles have been designed for use in BDSM and sex play. Made from Soy which melts at a much lower temperature.

With the candles, you can tease with random hot drips or wait till you have a pool and coat a large area in the hot sensual wax.
So for a stress-free first time into wax play make sure you do a few things first.

Make sure you lay or stand above is nonflammable just in case you do drop the candle.  Checking that there are no curtains that can blow into the flames. You may also not want to do it on your best bed sheets. 

To make removing the wax easier and painless start by removing hair from any area you are going to drip wax onto. Then with some good quality massage oil slowly massage oil into the skin, this will also help relax the mood. The oil must fully be soaked in before play takes place.

Then the fun can begin light your candles and allow to melt for a minute. Then test a small amount on the back of your on hand to test the temperature. If This feels like it should dip a small amount onto your partner or submissives arm from around 18” away. If they are happy and have no adverse reactions you can move on to full play.

Starting with the back and shoulders this will always both you and your play partner to settling into the height of the candle and the heat. Once this is cool you can now move on to more sensitive areas. Including my favorites the bum, breasts, and stomach. To heighten the sensitivity you can alternate in a random pattern with candles and then drip or run an ice cube across the body this will help set the wax and affects the nerves that supply the skin heightening the sensation. 
After practicing for a few times you can experiment with covering the entire area. Creating a costume or with shapes and patterns, the use of a stiff brush only adds to the feelings.

Wax Removal and Aftercare

wax play removal can be a painful exercise if this is what you would like it to be. If you have massaged the body with oil the wax will simply lift off with no pain or discomfort. Removing the wax can be a sensory BDSM experience. Try peeling the wax off with your fingernail or scraping with a comb. If you submissive behaves perhaps try spanking them with one of our paddles or flogs.

After the session is over your skin will need a little TLC. It is important to treat it as soon as possible. The best solution is a message with some after sun lotion or aloe vera. Possibly add these to your BDSM kit box.

Fire 5 out of 5


Fire play is something we have never tried.  We would suggest that if you would like to try fire play you look into the matter further. Lots of people in the BDSM community that have excellent knowledge in the play type and will be able to help you further.

Fire play rarely leaves marks on the skin. Some people do deliberately burn the skin slightly to leave it red and irritated.

Fire playbreathing-fire-557699__340

As you would expect fire play involves using flames to tickle the skin. The flame is applied using a fire wand which is a small torch that holds typically 70% isopropyl alcohol as fuel.  As with lots of other BDSM activities, there is more than one way to apply the flames including a glove, flaming flogs and whips. 
You will need to do your research into which ones suit you.


Two common styles I found on the web. Bouncing is the tapping or bouncing along the skin with the small fire torches.  Gives short brief sensations to the receiver. Streaking fuel is added to the skin in most commonly a straight line.  Then set alight this is then put out fast before any damage or burning of the skin takes place.
We hope this has been of some help to you and hope it helps you experiment and discover new pleasures.

Again please remember safety first keep your first aid box handy. Always respect the safe word. Please take some time to look at the items in our shop. Feel free to comment on this or any other of our articles. If you think others will benefit from this article or any of our others please share it with them. Have any subjects you would like us to cover in an article please feel free to contact us. We also produce many ones of and custom items of fetish and BDSM equipment from a paddle to a fetish bed. So we hope you have enjoyed reading about Temperature and wax play.

Wooden toys and Spanking paddle cleaning information

Wooden toys and spanking paddle cleaning information


Wood and the myths and fears surrounding it.


Wood is feared within the sex toy industry.  A Lot of people’s biggest fear of wooden toys is not the material itself it’s from spitters. These fears are totally unjustified as a piece of well finished wooden toys will not give you any splinters, When was the last time you thought twice about using a wooden spoon. Spatula or a salad bowl ?. The only time there is any likelihood of a splinter is if the product is damaged or broken which again is highly unlikely.


Wood is a chemically stable wood and will not change over time although some timber is not suitable for use for dildos or butt plugs the majority of timbers out there are all safe. For all our products we tend to stick to English food safe timbers only using specialty timber for handles and one-off piece. The process of manufacturing all of our products takes as long as it takes as some pieces will be taken right back to the beginning of the finishing process if we are not 100% happy with them. Spending more than 50% of the manufacturing process making sure the product is as smooth as silk with no pesky splinters.


  • Smooth
  • Individual
  • Takes on body temperature fast
  • Aesthetically pleasing
  • Firm
  • Long-lasting


  • Not 100% non-porous
  • Not 100% non-toxic

How does it feel? Is this material the right choice for me?

No two of our pieces will ever be the same down to the unique nature of this amazingly versatile material. With our years of background knowledge in the joinery trade and furniture manufacturer, we know how to utilize a piece of wood to show off its true potential and how to get the most strength out of it. Choosing the timber from different areas of the tree give us great versatility to the finished product

All of our wooden products are easy to clean and maintain. We use high-quality finishes specifically chosen for their hard wearing properties. Also, provides improved heat and water resistance and does not contain harmful petroleum solvents such as toluene or xylene.


Caring for your paddle made easy!


Wood cannot be sterilized but the lacquer we use can be wiped down with antibacterial wipes. After a hard session, there may be small amounts of sweat or other bodily fluids on your spanking paddle. Simply wipe it down with your chosen wipe. Spirit or alcohol-based cleaners can damage the finish so we don’t suggest they are used.fdv

Whenever you put your paddles or wooden toys away you need to make sure they are completely dry as wood can take on moisture with will cause it to warp and possibly split. Making sure the place you store your toys in is also important. The storage place must be clean and dry and not too hot so not and airing cupboard.


So how do you keep your spanking paddles looking beautiful?


Now to keep the shine on your wooden spanking paddle you will need to “feed” it and we don’t mean take it out for a 3-course meal and a bottle of red wine. A wipe over with oil such as our toy oil or a butcher’s block oil.  c Our oil contains tea tree extract that will help disinfects the paddle.

Simply applied with some kitchen paper or an old cloth. Apply a small amount of oil on the paper or the cloth and with your finger make small circles to rub in the oil. A sheen or oily finish will stay on the surface for a while and any excess needs removing after 24 hours this allows some of the product to soak in. there is no need to put the item in front of a radiator or fan to dry in fact it’s better to leave it to naturally cure at its own speed. It’s ready to use again when you touch it and don’t feel the oil residue on your fingers.


How to Clean Your Wood Sex Toy



  • Non-abrasive Soap and warm water
  • Antibacterial soap
  • 10% bleach (depends on the type of coating)


  • Boiling
  • Dishwasher
  • Alcohol or spirit based products


If you are going to use any lubrication with any of our products we suggest only using water-based ones. Others may affect the finish. A small amount of lube will go a long way.
If any of your Wooden toys do get damaged please contact us with photos and we will see if we can get it all back to being as good as new. Photos can be sent using our contact form on the contact us page. Repair cost will vary on amount of work needed and shipping is chargeable  dsc_0527-1

Spanking Paddle designs and shapes

Spanking paddle designs and shapes

So many variations the choice is yours


With many variations in Spanking paddle designs and shapes and additions the possibility to have your paddle just the right way for your particular BDSM style. Here at Gratefulpain, we have tried to come up with so truly amazing and versatile styles of fetish spanking paddles.

Below we have tried to cover some of the more common design features on our paddles. With both their pro and cons to help you make a more informed decision on which one to purchase first.



Holes in Spanking paddle


There are many theories floating around the internet BDSM community about were holes in Spanking paddle originally came from. So even after scouring the internet for many many hours, we have still not found a definitive answer to the origins of the holes in paddles. One of the biggest reasons for drilling holes in the blade of a Spanking paddle is to give the user less air resistance on the swing. With the paddle having less surface area the pressure is distributed over a smaller area giving more sting. Some people also say that the holes allow the cushion of air to be released from in front of the paddle also increasing the pressure per square inch of the impact.

“less surface area + force = more fun per square inch”

An interesting alternative to the whole debate is is it better to have through holes or “blind holes”. With our knowledge of wood and its strengths and weaknesses drilling a hole through the Spanking paddle blade would, in fact, reduce the weight and increase the speed of travel but would weaken the structure of the blade making it easier to break and split. With a blind hole not penetrating the wood keeping more of the strength intact.

The theory i found for blind holes is that the skin of the spankee would get pushed into the blind holes creating a small amount of suction making the paddle stick slightly creating a better sensation. Some blind holes can have a small through hole in the center to relieve some pressure.

Blind Holes – Tapered sides

Regular Holes – Straight sides


Spanking paddle end shapes


It is possible to cut the ends of any of our Spanking paddle to virtually any shape possible as a standard we only offer square and rounded. Where we can cut the paddles in to elaborate shapes these Spanking paddle then become useless as an actual play toy as the ends will become too weak and sharp with the possibility to do a lot of permanent halm to a person. That said there are shapes we will never have thought of so feel free to contact us to discuss any ideas you may have.


“smaller Spanking paddle work better on the naked buttocks.”


The round end paddle is perfect acacia paddle round end and olive ash handlefor anyone the rounded shape to the end of the paddle reduces the risk of the corner hitting your partner and breaking the skin. This would be the one we would recommend as a first paddle for anyone entering the wonderful world of BDSM and impact play.






Birch Paddle with yew handle profileThe square end has more of a traditional look of a spanking paddle and can still be used by anyone the square corners can break the skin if they come into contact with the skin of your submissive or play partner. But the square end will stand far better on a floor keeping it within easy reach of any dominatrix or dominant male. You should never spank and paddle with the edge piece of BDSM equipment.



Length and width

Large + short = thuddy

Small + thin = stingy

With our Spanking paddle, we tend to make the wider ones shorter in length and the thinner and narrower ones longer. This said there is nothing to say it has to be like that for you. Were a long thin narrow paddle such as our Stinger will give a very sharp stinging bite. The best way to describe the feeling is a burning heat felt on the surface of the skin. Extremely pleasurable but the feeling can be short-lived. The thinner the paddle the more lines and marks will be left with to some are worn as badges of honor for days later a reminder of their grateful pain the received.


We have spent many years trying to work out a rule to calculate a length to width ratio but nothing seems to work as different doms use paddles in different ways, as well as the difference between a male and females build and strength. This can be changed by simple things like if the spanker has a past injury or perhaps they play tennis instead of golfing it all just goes to show that no two people will swing the same.

As a rule, a longer paddle tends to flow through the air slower. The wider paddle will put the force of the swing over a greater area giving the impact a deeper thud a deep penetrating blow, felt deep in the muscle, and less so in the skin


“Mastering the thud and sting will improve your impact play technique.”


We are always happy to alter lengths of paddles making them longer or shorter to suit your needs the only exception to this is the Stinger we can’t actually make it any longer.



Texture and material

Texture can be added in many ways to any object. But a Spanking paddle needs to be secure, not sharp in any way and easy to clean and sterilize in case if does puncture the skin. We have used many materials and objects to gain texture on our paddles and increase the pleasure variety of the feelings.  


“Wood is where it all started for us”


Wood :

The product we use the most different woods produces different stings and thuds. But as explained in the lengths and width category. So many things can alter and change the type of pleasure felt by the submissive.


Traditionally a timber used in handles as well as the framework in the Morgan sports car. This is due to its fantastic ability to absorb and reduce vibrations. So why to use this for a piece of BDSM equipment let alone a paddle. When used in a paddle yes it soaks up vibrations but this means your fun can last longer and you will get more of the pleasurable deep muscular feelings.


It is also a fantastic timber to look at able to be stained with a variety of colors and finishes to a hick flawless finish.



Traditionally Birching was a form of corporal punishment using a bundle of fresh cut birch twigs as a spanking implement. Where you can’t use birch twigs as a Spanking paddle the timber from the trunk to produce some fine close-grained paddles. Taking a traditional material to the next stage.


Hazle, sycamore, yew, laburnum, are among some of the other timbers we use. They both great blades and the handles for our fantastic BDSM paddles. Please see our caring for your wooden Fetish and BDSM items guide.



The leather is a wonderfully sensual material quickly warming up to body temperature. Some leather paddles have a core of thin plywood this is to give the material some spring and structure. Others like the ones we make are two pieces of leather sewn together then the handles are wrapped in custom turned wooden handles. These give a great feeling and can be used with either a soft or hard swing. Over time the leather will bed in an take on its own partner and become softer. Please see our leather care guide for how to care for your leather BDSM equipment.



Rubber is a real pain giver so these items are not for the novice BDSM players. Typically 6-13mm thick they can be relatively thick and ungiving. The pain is high and extremely thuddy and deep sensation. Not for the faint-hearted. This is one of the few items we make in limited runs.  


Kevlar, carbon fiber and Lexan

We have not seen many Spanking paddle made from these materials. Being bulletproof you really can give this item some stick able to give thud or a sting. With the limited runs of Kevlar and carbon fiber paddles. We make using the best timbers and handmade resin to create one of a kind paddles.

All of these materials have little to no shock absorbing properties so will land a great sting.



An extremely lightweight material with little to no flex will deliver sweet tingly spanks with a loud audible tone. This material like the rubber is not for the faint-hearted but for the serious players. Giving a perfect prolonged play time to your BDSM scene.


Hanging/wrist  straps

We offer wrist or hanging straps as an optional extra on our paddle designs and shapes. Offering this as an extra offers maximum flexibility to you the user. This is a personal thing so whether you like them or hate them there as an option.



  • Extra security prevents paddle leaving your hand
  • Makes hanging your strap easy
  • Can be used as a small flogger


  • Can get in the way
  • Reduces some movement
  • Can get caught on buckles and hooks

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We have tried to cover all of the paddle designs and shapes options. As time goes on I’m sure we will develop more ideas and will update this list. If you feel we have some misinformation or you have something to add please feel free to Send us a email or comment below.

Choosing the correct Spanking Paddle

Choosing the correct Spanking Paddle
And shape for Your Needs

There are loads of different paddles out there and it can be a little daunting for anyone taking their first steps in the fascinating and pleasurable world of fetish impact play. especially when is comes to Choosing the correct Spanking Paddle.
With so many options to choose from to find the right paddle can be challenging. The following article will help answer some of those questions.

A sensual bit of power play in the bedroom all the way up to a strict disciplinary at your local dungeon or fetish club.

The basic things that determine the pleasurable pain factor of a paddle are

  • The force used to swing the paddle more will increase the amount of pain
  • The size of the impact surface the larger the surface is the less pressure per square cm
  • The thickness of the paddle will impact the amount of the force is soaked up into the paddle itself. In a thinner paddle can’t absorb a lot of force and will cause a stinging surface pain. A thicker paddle will give a deep muscular sensation
  • The material used the different materials used will greatly alter the feeling given by your paddle. Ash bladed paddles will give a 3-5 out of 10 were a rubber or kevlar one will give you a 10.

If we were to pick a paddle for beginner we would go for one like this one

ash paddle and yew handle bottom upward

First of all, a good overall length not too long and not too short giving the best starting point for practicing to hit your mark. The width makes the paint softer and easier to receive for anyone starting out. With its rounded end, it reduces the risk of breaking the skin and causing injury and potentially putting you and your play partner of the fetish. We have suggested using a wooden paddle to start with as these we feel are the easiest to learn with warming up to body temperature and feeling good in the hand.

Choosing the correct Spanking Paddle is just the beginning

This is just the beginning of your journey exploring your role whether it’s a submissive enjoying taking the pain, or as a dominate dealing out the pleasurable pain. Like some, you may also be a switch as the name suggests you enjoy switching from the top or dom role to the bottom the submissive’s role.

As part of your passage into the world of the BDSM community, you can then move on. Different materials, lengths or perhaps a paddle with holes in it all will alter the feeling gained from being punished. Many other guides including a more in-depth look at paddles and their options and how to look after and care for many other items from our store. Finally, we hope this has helped you with Choosing the correct Spanking Paddle.

Natural Ash Humbler end detail shotBlack hand stocks lock shotBDSM Spanking paddle ash and paduck from the bottom
We offer many different BDSM and fetish products in all sizes and shapes. With the option to customize paddles and many of our other products the sky really is the limit. So if you don’t see what you need or have a dream in mind please just email us.

 We would love to help your dreams a reality and help you get your Grateful pain.

Whenever venturing into any form of BDSM or kink safety is always the number one priority. This is extremely prominent when you are starting out. If you and your partner decided to be submissive or dominate another party. Make sure you always only ‘play’ with someone you know and trust.

Black hand stocks lock open detail shot

A safe word is must be discussed and agreed before any fetish scene or play takes place. “NO” doesn’t always mean know in a BDSM power exchange session. Especially relevant when using items such as gags a safe word is not possible so the use of a safe action is needed. Consequently, this is only a brief look at safe words. We would suggest you read more basic safety tips for bondage and BDSM in this related article. More about safewords and the traffic lights system can be found here.
Finally, do you know any fact about BDSM, kink, fetish or paddles that we don’t ? or have we got a fact wrong?

please comment below with any we have missed.

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